DACHSHUND HOUSE RULES: A Guide for Visitors



"Yes, this is MY couch."



These house rules are included here for your edification, doxie lovers.  They originated from someone else who happens to know dachshunds extremely well!
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I live here. You don't.

■I am keeper of this house. The BOSS around here is ME. I have supreme and final authority at all times.

■I AM THE MIGHTY, COURAGEOUS DACHSHUND: DEFENDER OF THE WEAK AND PROTECTOR OF THE MEEK.

■I am LONG, LEAN and HANDSOME. I am DASHING, DAZZLING, and DEBONAIR. Although I AM VERY HOT STUFF, I am NOT a hot dog and I am NOT a wiener dog.

■I am so WELL BRED that I am practically an ARISTOCRAT. I am playful. I am SWEET. I am stubborn. I am HUNGRY (did you bring me any treats?). I am GREAT. And I am very, very MODEST.

■THIS IS MY HOME. Everything in it belongs to me. That means the toys are mine, the bones are mine, the couch and love seat are mine, the beds, the humans and EVERYTHING ELSE ARE MINE.

■Be advised your visit to my home will be greatly enhanced if you bring me presents or feed me treats. If you neglect to bring me toys, gifts, or treats, you will probably not be invited back. Hint. Hint.