Why you DON’T want a dachshund:
1. They bark. They can’t help it. It’s in their genetic makeup. They are bred for hunting, and when they are hunting, they use different types of barks to communicate with the hunters. They will bark to alert you to any changes in their environment, from a burglar right down to a bird landing in their yard. They will bark to communicate with you and with other dogs. You can contain the barking with lots of training, but you won’t eliminate it. So if you live somewhere where a barking dog will cause problems, you don’t want a dachshund.
2. They dig. If they can see daylight on the other side of a fence, most of them will dig to try to get to it. If you don’t have solid fencing that reaches right down to the ground, expect some holes. There are exceptions, but if you are super proud of your yard and the thought of holes upsets you, you don’t want a dachshund.
3. They are agile. Way more agile than they look. Do not for one minute be fooled that because they are small and cute, that they don’t get around. They CAN and will jump on the furniture, your lap, get up on your bed, find a way out of the back yard and more. If you don’t want dogs on the furniture or on your lap, you don’t want a dachshund.
4. They get fat! Most dachshunds love their food and will put on weight very quickly if you don’t watch their diet. This is worse for dachshunds than it is for most dogs because of their backs. So if you like to feed your dog people food, or extra treats, you don’t want a dachshund.
5. They need to be indoors. Not all the time, but lots of the time. They need to be the centre of attention, and love to spend time with you and your family. If you want a dog simply to live in the back yard, you don’t want a dachshund.
6. They are not easy to housetrain. Most dachies get it, given careful training and patience. If it’s raining or cold outside, you’ll probably find that your little princess won’t step foot outside to go. They will whine to come into the house if left outside, but they won’t do it to get out! They do housetrain, but they are not easy, so if the idea of accidents bothers you and you have a pristine white carpet, you don’t want a dachshund.
7. They chew. If they can see something, it belongs to them. They have incredibly strong jaws and teeth, and love to use them. You will need to be super-vigilant about what they can get to, especially as a puppy, and if you can’t bear the thought of losing your favourite Jimmy Choos, then you don’t want a dachshund.
8. They have delusions of grandeur. They have no idea of their size in relation to other dogs. They will happily pick on big dogs in the park to protect you. They were bred to hunt badgers in their holes and have courage that far outweighs the size of their bodies (and their brains!). They are incredibly loyal, so they will protect you and their territory from anything, no matter how big the dog. If you don’t like the sound of that, you probably don’t want a dachshund.
9. They are incredibly stubborn. They learn quickly but they are not perfect – what they don’t want to hear and don’t want to see doesn’t exist. Some dachshunds do incredibly well at obedience, but be aware that it is ALWAYS on their terms. They also have selective hearing, so no matter how well trained, if you want a dog that you can walk off the leash, you probably don’t want a dachshund.
10. They want to spend time with you. Obsessively. They will be under your feet, on your lap, in your bed, in front of the fridge when the door opens, in the loo with you. If you like your own space, you don’t want a dachshund.
11. They can be OCD. They like it their way, and that’s about all kinds of things – where they put bones, what food they eat, what time you come home, about where furniture should be, what cushions are allowed on the couch – anything. If you aren’t prepared to spend time reassuring them, you don’t want a dachshund.
And now, if you’ve come this far and you still think that you might want a dachshund after reading all that, this is why. They are one of the most interactive breeds, with huge personalities and so much character. Every single one is unique and a whole lot of fun. Who can resist those big brown eyes and that deceptively sad face? They are loyal and protective of those they love to the very last and one of the most affectionate breeds out there – always ready for a cuddle with a waggy tail and a wet sloppy kiss. They are people magnets – when you walk a dachshund you have to be prepared to meet new people. They are addictive, once you’ve had one, you will probably end up with at least one more and will also be ruined for owning any other breed ever again. They are funny and will make you laugh more than they make you cry. If you’ve read all this and you think you still want a dachshund, you probably do want a dachshund!
**Please note that all dogs are different and your dachshund may exhibit none or all of the characteristics above – this is a general outline of the breed, intended for basic information purposes only.” —Laraine Hedges Guidry